Rules for the Deranged
by Cherokee Bonnefoy-Jones
Summary: Got bored one day, so Ry, Ishizu and I thought up some rules for Marik and Bakura. Please enjoy.
1. Bakura

Princess Atemna: Hiya! Yeah, I know this has been done several times, but I couldn't resist. Besides, you'll now know what Bakura was talking about in Night Clubbing.

* * *

**Things Ryo Won't Allow Bakura to Do**

1) Prank call Kaiba and Seth  
2) Prank call Yugi and Pharaoh  
3) Prank call Tea

"What? Why not?" "Because they'll all kill you." "Oh, let them try."

4) Pretend to flirt with Ishizu (this just makes Isis mad)  
5) Pretend to flirt with Tea in front of Pharaoh.

"Why would I?" "You just like making them mad." "Good point."

6) Dump Isis  
7) Say I told him to tell Ishizu it's over  
8) Tell any of the girls that it's over with them and their respective boyfriends

"C'mon, you're ruining all my fun!" "I don't care. People take stuff like that seriously."

9) Steal from Kaiba  
10) Steal from Yugi and Pharaoh  
11) Steal Ishizu's underwear and put them with my clothes

"Hah! You're blushing!" "Am not, now let me finis this!"

12) Steal Tea's under wear and put them with Yugi' clothes.  
13) Help Marik set me and Ishizu up on a date  
14) Kill anyone at all  
15) Take over the world

"So you're the reason my plans fail!"

16) Tell my dad that I'm gay  
17) Tell my dad that I've had sex with Ishizu if #16 doesn't work

"You so did and you know it." "No, that was you and Isis!" "Right, keep telling yourself that."

18) Steal Mellennium Puzzle  
19) Steal Mellennium Necklace  
20) Steal Mellennium Rod  
21) Steal Marik's motorcycle  
22) Show Marik a picture of Amane  
23) Set Marik and Amane up on a date  
24) Tell Pharaoh any of his past  
25) Tell Pharaoh real reason why he has Dark Magician's Infant

"Why not? I think he kinda needs to know to keep those two seperate." "No, he doesn't" "Well, if I really think about it, it might scar him for life. Ummm, how would you react if I said you and Ishizu got drunk a couple of nights ago and you finally got laid?" "You did what? C'mere so I can kill you!"

26) Get me drunk

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Atemna: As an fyi, Ryo was in his Soul Room when he wrote this. And Next chapter is Marik's list of rules


	2. Marik

Princess Atemna: Here's Marik's list.

* * *

**Things Ishizu Won't Allow Marik to Do**

1) Set me Ryo up on a date  
2) Help Bakura take over the world  
3) Help Bakura raise Zorc after #2  
4) Steal the Mellennium Rod  
5) Send the world to the Shadow Realm  
6) Send his teachers to the Shadow Realm

"Why not? They're a bunch of idiots that bore me to hell." "Watch it, Marik. And I don't care."

7) Help Ryo get drunk  
8) Force me to a night club (the Crypt included)

"But that's the best place ever! Isis and Bakura are going next week." "I'm still not caring, Marik."

9) Get a account  
10) Get drunk with Zigfried von Shrouder  
11) Go on a date with Ryo's sister

"I don't even know what the girl looks like!" "All the more reason to have it on the list"

12) Destroy the apartment with a wild party  
13) Wreck KaibaCorp.  
14) Bother kaiba in any way, shape, or form  
15) Go within two mile radius of KaibaCorp.  
16) Prank call anyone  
17) Break rule #11 on Ry's list for Bakura  
18) Break rule #16 on Baka's list  
19) Break rule #17 on Baka's list

"Is there anything I _can _do?" "Yes, actually."

**Things Marik Can Do**

1) Ride his motorcycle  
2) Frame and hang this in the living room

"Happy?" "Not really." "Well, just learn to live with it."


	3. My List For Both

Princess Atemna: Now it's time for the list Ry and Ishizu have nothing to do with.

* * *

**Things I Won't Allow Either to Do.**

1) Send **ME** to the Shadows  
2) Delete my stories that are going well

"So I can get rid of ETLC?" "No, Marik."

3) Tell Kaiba I want to kill him  
4) Give away any hints about my fics  
5) Write any of my fics in my place  
6) Get Mellennium Rod to 'convince' me to listen to their twisted Ideas

"Now why would we do that?" "Bacause, you Bakas, you want to see me possibly get killed!" "Y'know, she's got a point, 'Kura." "Only Isis can call me that!" "Kill joy." "Get back here brat!" "Oh, that's another thing:"

7) Call me 'Pharaoh's Brat' or anything related  
8) Kill each other (though 'Kura's already dead)  
9) Try and kill Pharaoh

"Oh, and **I'm **the kill joy?" "Oh, just shut up for once! Between you and Marik, I don't know whose voice is more annoying! How Amane can stand you, Marik, is beyond me!" _'Which reminds me.' _

**Things I Need to Do**

1) Get a psychiatrist


End file.
